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.aren't you?"Standing in front of me was a blond bombshell. Every inch the woman thatI longed to be. Jahna and I had gone to school together, only back thenshe was known as John. You see, she had transitioned shortly after wegraduated from High School. God, I wish I had known. Maybe we could havehelped each other. Maybe I wouldn't be where I was now. But, she wasdead. Victim of an 'accidental' overdose. About as accidental as I wasplanning."You know. You're one of the lucky ones who got to spend at least partof their lives as a woman. Look at me...I'm nearly sixty, I've been wearingdresses as long as I can remember and I will NEVER look like a woman!Christ. I just want this over with. I'm so tired of living a lie!Jahna just looked at me with those big blue eyes. I saw a tear slowlycrawl down her cheek."God damnit!! I've tried! I've tried being what everyone expects me tobe. I've tried living my life in the shadows! One foot in the closet andone foot out! I just. Now we both had our dinner that Devi prepared for me. And after that we had to do some time pass as we were not getting sleep. So we started to watch the TV. As the clock showed the time as 11.00 pm, we were getting sleep and so we decided to go to bed as we had to go to bank the next day morning. We entered the bedroom & I asked Devi that I would sleep in the Guest bedroom, but she rejected & said that both would sleep in the same bedroom & said that “are u afraid of me ?” I replied “no”. “Then what r u thinking of ?” Come on. We both slept in the corners of the bed.As it was a double bed it seemed as too long. As it was the month of December, it was getting cool,& in just half an hour we were getting freeze,& Devi said “Please have a blanket on u or else u will get ill health, and I have to give its reply to your husband”. I replied “O.K.” We were sleeping by the opposite sides. After a little time I heard a very slow voice, it might be Devi’s, “hey Namrata are you getting sleep ?.
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